A little boy died from cancer yesterday. I didn’t personally know him but my best friend was very close with the family. And when your best friend has someone going through hell and is going through hell themselves, you go through hell right along with them.
A very close friend of mine is losing her battle with cancer and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it. She is one of the most amazing women I know. She would do anything for anyone…no questions asked. Growing up, I always knew that she would be there if I needed her. She has a heart of gold, a laugh that lights up any room, and I will cherish my memories of her.
My head is filled with anger. My heart hurts. It’s hard to come here to write because I’m angry. I’m someone who focuses on the positives of life. Someone who embraces the happy times. Being an optimist in today’s world is exhausting. And there are many days, I go to bed completely drained.
And lately, I’ve just been angry. Holding on to my anger and trying to figure out what to do with it all. Then, I was angry at myself for being angry. And I thought there was a better way. A way to be angry and positive at the same time. Clearly, I was fooling myself.
I’m angry for many reasons but mostly because someone I love is leaving this world too soon. Anger is grief. Grief is love. A never ending circle of pain and love reminding us to cherish the ones we love and embrace life. Because one day, it will all be over.