It’s been three months since I’ve written in this space.
And I can sit here and tell you all the reasons why. Fill this post with excuses or explanations. But the truth is actually really simple.
I lost myself.
And I guess you could say that I lost myself a long time ago. I was so busy focusing on being the person I thought everyone wanted, being the person I thought society wanted, that I stopped being the woman I loved.
Life has a funny way of slapping you in the face to make you realize that everything you’re doing is wrong. For me, it happened about a year ago. And it took that entire year for me to realize what was going on. Took me an entire year to rediscover the girl I lost so many years ago. To fall in love with that girl and everything she was and is.
It took me an entire year to realize how important it is to take care of myself; my needs, my wants, my loves. It’s so easy to sit here and blame motherhood for changing me or marriage or any other life things. But it really took me running myself into the ground year after year after year for me to wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that I did this.
I was the one who forgot to take care of myself. I put myself on the back burner and said “yes” to anything that was asked of me. Until I finally couldn’t say yes anymore. Not because I didn’t want to. But because I had physically run myself into the ground. I couldn’t hold my head above the water anymore. I was the one who forgot the importance of self-care, the importance of taking just 30 minutes for myself.
And I fell. I fell hard.
And it took falling that hard to find myself. To love myself. To take care of myself.
So here I am. Back to writing. Back to sharing my life stories. And living a life that I love. A life that I’m proud of.