I’ve been keeping a secret from you all. Maybe because I didn’t want to admit it because admitting it, makes it true.
We moved. Not because we wanted to either. Because that would be easy. We moved because we had to. Because the military told us to.
Florida is my happy place and I’m sure there are other places out there that would give me the same feelings as Florida. But I’m also sure those places are all tropical islands and we are far away from those right now. And if you’re wondering, yes, I did kick and scream about leaving my home.
Because not only was I leaving the place I love, I was leaving family behind. Family that I love and cherish, family that just lost our amazing grandmother. Family that was going through tough times and family that we just love so deeply, not being around them doesn’t seem right.
Yet, here we are…over 500 miles away. In the new place I’m supposed to call home, but can’t seem to.
I know it will get better. And I know there’s a time stamp on our time here. That is the military life. But, if I’m honest, this life is exhausting.It isn’t what I expected it to be. It’s been hard on me, on my husband, and on our family.
And I feel that we don’t talk about it enough. Most people believe that military families are lucky in a lot of aspects. Like the military paying for our moves, except in most cases, it doesn’t cover all of our expenses. Or getting to travel all over the world, which doesn’t happen for all military families and overseas can be amazing but it can also be so, so hard and lonely for many.
And I’m at this stage in my life where I’m tired of making friends just to leave them again. I have some amazing friends, ones I consider family. And we’re nowhere near each other. We love and support each other from afar, hoping one day soon to see each other again.
It’s hard. And no one knows how truly hard this life is until you walk it. And by then, you’re so done with military life and what it has done to you and your family, that by the time it’s over, you sometimes have nothing left to give.
We moved. We moved and I didn’t want to and I think that’s a story a lot of military families will tell you.
But I’m here, settling in and counting down the days unti I can go home again.