There are a few things you should know about me…The beach is my happy place, coffee is necessary, and I love working out.
To me, working out doesn’t suck. And I actually look forward to it. It helps me sleep better, makes me happier, and takes away those lovely monthly cramps. I just feel better when I’m working out.
At least mostly.
I feel like there comes a time in our lives when we’re challenged. I mean, probably multiple times but definitely once. And when I say challenged, I mean hard core challenged. Like anything and everything in life is hard. And it doesn’t last forever, but it’s hard and challenges you to your core.
Most mornings, I take 15 minutes and just sit at this window, pondering about life, thinking about my dreams, and wondering how I can make those dreams a reality. * * * * * #morningmusings #tuesday #goodmorning #tuesdaymorning #mom #momlife #momboss #momminainteasy #dreams #dreambig #goals #grind #hustle #mood #vibes #selfcare #love #loveyourself #beyou #quiet #quietthechaos #live #liveauthentic #reading #goodlife #morningmotivation #livin #dreaming
And I’m there. Or I was. I feel like I’m on the upswing. But I was there. For a few years everything was just hard. And I was constantly asking my mom and dad if life was supposed to be this hard or if I was just one of the special ones. To which they both confirmed on multiple occasions that everyone goes through these hard times.
And so, I turned to working out because it helped. And what I thought was helping me through the problems was actually just putting a big ol’ bandage over an already gaping wound. Because I wasn’t dealing with the stress and anxiety or the hard times, I was just shoving them down deeper, trying to make them disappear.
At one point I was doing two-three workouts a day. Not because I wanted to but because it took away stress and anxiety and at that point, I would have done anything to lessen that load. But then life decided to step in. Funny how life has a way of doing that.
I was pushing myself harder than ever trying to just get through it all. Physically my body starting breaking down. Muscles were pulled and I pressed forward. Not a good idea by the way. Because then I wasn’t just emotionally beat up but I was physically done.
And I broke down.
I just cried, let out the anger, sadness, stress, anxiety. I finally admitted to myself that I was broken and bruised. There’s a bit of beauty in the breakdown. Because on the other side of it was peace. I could finally look at my life and accept where I was and where my life was going. I could accept the bad with the good and know that while this time may be a struggle, while life may be hard, it won’t always be this way.
And that breakdown happened about 2 months ago. While I have been doing yoga that’s it. I walked away from all other workouts and let myself rest. Let myself heal. Taking that break from working out was needed, something I had to do for myself in order to start the healing process in my own life. And while I used to constantly beat myself up for not getting in that workout, today…I’m ok with it. These days I’m working out and letting go. And I’m starting to believe that everything will be alright.